Storm of 2018

This blog has become a place where I can journal and sort out my thoughts as my family and I journey through life. I have noticed looking back that this blog has been were I seem share some of my family's darker hours and the light that helps us through them. Some might think we don't have good times or that we are always struggling with something and I can see how it might appear that way. However when times are good or "easy", when we aren't facing a challenge of some sort, I find I have less to say. I could post "Things are really good. Praise the Lord!" and it would be very true, but I think it would be boring to read. Plus when things are good, I have less on my mind, less to sort through and process and less to offer someone else, therefore I have less to write. So I will continue writing this blog as a tool to help me and maybe someone else through the twists and turns and bumps along the journey of life.
As you might have guessed (because I am writing again), our family's journey has taken some unexpected turns as of late. In fact, sometimes it feels like we have started a new journey all together. For about 6 months now our youngest 2 daughters have been facing some painful and unexplainable (unrelated to each other) health conditions. We have been spend a lot of time at different doctors offices and hospitals, urgent cares and ER's, physical therapists, acupuncturists, testing facilities, counselors and so on. Questions are many and so far, answers have been few.
It is so hard watching someone you love hurting. I think it's even harder when that someone is your child. As a mom, I feel like part of my job is to protect my child(ren) and prevent them from getting hurt. Another part of my job is to help them when they do get hurt or are hurting. When I am helpless to do either, I don't have words to describe what that is like.
I will be honest. At times over the past few months things have felt dark. My whole family has struggled with feelings of frustration, anger, sadness, pain, being discouraged and overwhelmed just to put names on a few of our emotions. I have found myself feeling lost, confused and like I didn't have the strength to face the trials we were going through.
That's where the triumph part of my title comes in. In my darkest moments, the times when I have sometimes literally cried out "I can't do this", I hear a voice inside me reminding me "I am here. You can do this. Lean into me". Words fill my head and heart like "Trust me" "I have a plan for her. I love her".  I feel my emotions calm. My tears stop. My thoughts stop racing. God gives me little things to help my family through today while reassuring me to trust Him for tomorrow. I can't really explain it.
On the wall of my living room is a quote. You can see it in the picture of my family on the blog page. "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain". Lately I have also been reminded of the title of this blog and the Bible verse it refers to. Matthew 7:24-27 New Living Translation (NLT) 24 “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. 25 Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 26 But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. 27 When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
And right now my family is in one heck of a storm. But God is helping me (and us) dance in the rain and because we have built our house on a strong foundation, this storm will not break us or defeat us. We will stand firm.