Summer - for most of us the word triggers memories of watermelon and ice cream, trips to the park and beach, swimming in a pool and family vacations. Sometimes the word triggers other memories too - summer romances and heartbreaks, family reunions and family conflicts, or perhaps just a longing to go back to "the good 'ol days". My next few entries are going to be about summer memories.
Have you ever compared your childhood to your children's? I have been doing that this summer. Often Steve and I will talk with other adults about the freedom we had as children. Take for example riding our bikes. We would ride our bikes everywhere, miles away from home, along busy streets. Today, I have a hard time letting my daughter go 1 mile from home. When they do go out on their bikes, I make them call when they arrive to their destination - timing it from when they left. (and if it takes longer then it should, I have my car keys ready to go find them)
Is it because I don't trust my girls? Absolutely not!! I trust them; I don't trust the world around them. My girls are getting to an age where I have to start letting them spread their wings more. I need to trust that Steve and I have taught them well and that they will be safe "out there", but I hear the stories on the news about children grabbed from the street walking or riding home from a friends house. They make it hard for me to let my children experience the freedom I had as a child. I wonder sometimes if I am sheltering them or perhaps smothering them with my protectiveness.
At the same time, I look around (again comparing my youth to today's) and kids seem to be growing up faster. Ten year old girls with boyfriends. Kids with no rules or too much freedom, who act out looking for someone to set some boundaries. Boundaries that give the child some sense of security and show them someone cares what happens to me. I know that too much freedom for a child is unhealthy too.
What does a parent do? The best they can. Steve and I look to our family and friends and our faith to help us decide how much freedom to allow our children. This year, our oldest got a cell phone and a Facebook account, but she got them with guidelines and restrictions. Some freedom, but not too much - I hope.
I talk with my girls about their summer memories (so far) and I don't think they feel they are smothered or lacking in any freedom. Their memories are very similar to mine. Swimming at pools and beaches, camping trips and summer camp, occasional trips out for ice cream or to the ice cream truck, trips to grandparents and hanging around the neighborhood with friends. So far, I think they are OK with the amount of freedom they have. And when they need more, maybe I will be ready for it!
