"She's mean", I heard a child exclaim about an adult recently. It's wasn't the first time I had heard this about this person who I am very close to. The adult in question was "mean" because she enforces rules (and laws) for safety and and demands a level of respectfulness towards others. The children who I have heard make this comment over the years often tested these rules/laws to see if they could bend them or perhaps get away with breaking them.
So I started thinking. Do these children realize how blessed they are that someone cares enough to be "mean" to them. Someone who cares enough not to worry if they are "liked" and who will call them out on their actions when they are being disrespectful or unsafe potentially hurting themselves or others? How many parents today want to be liked by their kids and want to be their child's friend so they don't say no or hold their child(ren) accountable for their choices and actions? What does THAT teach them?
I hope my children have LOTS of men and women who are "mean" to them in this fashion. Adults who will care enough to tell them to "knock it off" and show them they can do or be better. If they are being disrespectful, inconsiderate or unsafe and I don't see it, I hope there is someone there who does see it and calls them out on it. If they are headed down a wrong path, I pray God places someone in their lives who help them get back on the right path, even if they don't like it.
I know sometimes I will be that mean person in my children's lives, but I hope there are others when I can't be there. I plan on being this kind of mean person for other people's children. Someday your child may come to you and tell you "Mrs. R is sooo mean". Ask them why. When they tell you, I hope the answer will be a child's form of because she made/makes me do the right thing (and the wrong thing was/is more fun or easier). Maybe you will be able and smile and tell them "that's because she cares about you and wants you to make good choices". And maybe, just maybe, when you hear "she's mean" you will feel blessed that others are out there who care about more your child than they care about if they "liked".
